tips for better listening
Tips for better listening: 1) Make eye contact.
How do you feel when people aren’t looking at you when you’re speaking?
Of course, you will think they are not interested.
So, it’s most important to look at other people when they speak.2) Show body language.
It’s very good to nod* your head, and use your face to show feelings.
Smile when it’s funny or interesting, look serious when it’s sad or serious, frown* if you don’t understand, and so on.3) Don’t do any other things when you’re listening.
Don’t look at your watch, play with your pen, move your papers, and so on. This means you’re not listening and not interested.4) Ask questions.
It’s very important to ask questions from time to time*. This will make you understand better, and also show that you are listening and interested.5) Repeat things sometimes in your own words.
For example: “So, you mean…” and “Are you saying that…?”
This will make sure you understand, and that you have heard everything.6) Don’t interrupt*.
Always let somebody finish speaking. If they are not finished yet, it is rude to say something yourself.
You can show you want to say something by using your body language. Then, it is good to use nr.4 and nr.5.
7) Don’t talk too much yourself.
When you are talking, you can’t listen at the same time. So, sometimes you want to talk about what YOU think, but try not to do this too often.
Try to feel comfortable when you listen and stay calm.8) Try to make the conversation go smoothly* and easy.
This means sometimes you are speaking, and sometimes the other person is speaking. Then it’s good to try to make an easy change.
Timing* and using nr.2 are useful*.* nod: to move your head a little, like saying ‘yes’.
* frown: the look on your face when you don’t understand, like when you are eating a lemon.
* from time to time: sometimes.
* interrupt: when something is busy, you stop it.
* smoothly: soft feeling, not hard. (opposite of rough)
* timing: to do something at the right time. (‘bad timing’ is to do something at the wrong time)
* useful: it is good to use. (opposite of useless)Note: I've adapted a text from a management textbook to use for my elementary and basic classes in China, hence the footnotes. It's interesting stuff and pretty useful. Just put it in a word-document and talk about it.
Roel Cruijff (Da Jiang)
Yangshuo, China
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